The Power of Forgiveness: My Journey to Healing
Sixteen years ago, the Lord made a covenant with me, promising that there would be a child. Since 2009, my life has been marked by both trials and triumphs. I firmly believe that while the fulfilment of His promise is connected to time, it is also dependent on my covenant heart towards His. It requires my willingness to honour Him as Lord of my life, trusting that He holds my heart and enables me to fulfil His will. His love for me is so profound that He sacrificed everything, even His own life…so that I may not only receive His promise but experience it in full measure, to the point of overflow.
For years, I struggled with recurring patterns in my life, obstacles that kept resurfacing and hindering me in ways I didn’t fully comprehend. From the age of four until sixteen, I was molested. The trauma of those years left deep wounds in my heart, and although I believed I had forgiven, subtle traces of unforgiveness lingered within me. By God’s grace, I continued to love my brother despite what he had done to me, for I knew my life’s purpose extended beyond my pain. Yet, even with that love, a small part of me still held on…a part unwilling to allow him what I had lost.
Unforgiveness took root in ways I did not recognize. Over time, I realized that my past trauma had affected my heart, which in turn impacted my fertility. This struggle became an adversary against God’s spoken word over my life, testing my faith while simultaneously forging my character in Him. Through it all, I have come to see how God truly works everything together for good for those who seek Him wholeheartedly.
Jesus spoke about forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-35 when Peter asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus responded, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
The number seven signifies completeness, meaning we must forgive continually until the work of forgiveness is fully accomplished in our hearts. But true forgiveness goes beyond spoken words; it brings transformation. In the parable of the Unmerciful Servant, Jesus illustrates the weight of mercy and the consequences of withholding it.
The servant owed his master an insurmountable debt, one he could never repay. When he pleaded for mercy, the master did not merely grant him more time, he erased the debt completely and immediately, much like the power of Jesus’ blood when applied to our transgressions. However, when that same servant encountered a fellow slave who owed him a much smaller debt, he refused to extend the same mercy and had the man imprisoned until he could pay.
If we look closely, both the servant and the slave used identical words when pleading for mercy. Yet, the king did not grant mere reprieve; he cancelled the debt outright, mirroring God’s grace. When we come before Him in true repentance, He does not make us earn our redemption. He wipes the slate clean instantly. However, when the servant refused to extend the same mercy, the king’s anger was great.
The king was furious when he learned what had happened. Having extended mercy far beyond what was asked, he expected the servant to do the same. Because of his ungrateful and unmerciful heart, the king not only imprisoned him but also his family, forcing them to suffer the consequences of his unforgiveness.
This aligns with Deuteronomy 5:9: “You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous (impassioned) God, visiting the iniquity (sin, guilt) of the fathers on the children, to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me.” This scripture reminds us that
our actions have far-reaching effects. Unforgiveness does not just bind us, it can impact our children and future generations.
Unforgiveness makes the soul bitter, and excessive bitterness dries the bones. Dry bones become brittle and weak, unable to stand or move freely. This leads to another powerful scripture: Hebrews 4:12, which states, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
When we harbour unforgiveness, we become spiritually stagnant. Stagnation brings death to everything it touches. If you examine your life, do you find yourself stuck, facing the same hurdles repeatedly? Could unforgiveness be the root of this stagnation? Have you asked God to reveal the hidden wounds so you can fully release them?
Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Yet, as my husband once preached, we often fall short in completing the work of forgiveness. However, when we ask God to forgive those who have wronged us, He does so completely. And when we ask Him to forgive us, He grants the same grace.
Forgiveness does not justify what was done to us, nor does it erase the pain. Instead, it liberates us from the chains that keep us bound. It allows us to step into the fullness of God’s promises, unshackled by past wounds. It permits God to restore our hearts so completely that our souls are no longer captive to bitterness.
I will not elaborate on every detail of my journey and testimony, as this article would become too lengthy. However, I will share that as I guarded my heart and sought the Lord to forgive my brother, He revealed to me that my brother, too, was a victim of the enemy. This revelation shifted my perspective, allowing me to see my brother—and his actions—through God’s eyes of grace. Just as the slave owed the servant, and the servant owed the king, so it is when people sin against us. Most often, those who harm others do so not out of sheer malice but because they, too, have been wounded. When pain remains unhealed, it perpetuates harm.
As the saying goes: hurting people hurt people.
As I continue this journey, I hold onto the truth that God is faithful. His promises are yes and amen. What He has spoken over my life, He will bring to completion. If you struggle with unforgiveness, I urge you to seek God with your whole heart. Ask Him to reveal the hidden wounds. Ask Him to do a complete work in you. Because when we truly forgive, we are set free. And in that freedom, we find healing, restoration, and the ability to walk fully in God’s plans for our lives.
I bless you to be a people who do not cling to the faults and failures of others but instead carry their burdens with love and grace, fulfilling God’s command to love your neighbour as yourself. May your hearts be so aligned with God’s that you see His hand leading you, and may His light illuminate your path as you trust Him each step of the way.
We are not called to be slaves—purchased at a great price yet still bound by obligation but to be something greater. As Paul described, we can choose to be bondservants, set free yet serving out of love and gratitude. Alternatively, as referenced by Jesus, we can fulfil our roles as sons and daughters by diligently carrying out the Father's work, not merely through compliance but with sincere dedication, understanding that the responsibility we manage involves the souls of individuals.
Let us, then, be a people who do not merely read the Bible as words on a page but walk alongside the Living Word, allowing Him to guide and teach us. In doing so, we will bring life, hope, and a greater story to the world around us.
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