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INSPIRATION BEHIND THE NAME OF THE BLOG


When an artist decides to make a painting, he "conceives" a picture. He then takes out the canvas, brushes and paint. After getting out all he may need, the artist starts picking out the colours and brushes he wants to use...then; he begins! Now, somewhere during the process of this painting he comes to the point where he decides to use a very fine brush to put in the some detail on the painting, but for some reason that brush just does not want to work...and having to finish the painting, the artist chooses another brush which even though it is not as fine (able) as the previous brush becomes a skilful wand in the hands of the artist, not due to the capabilities of the brush...no, due to the willingness!

Mat 22:14 for many are called, but few are chosen...

I believe this scripture does not refer to God having favourites and therefore does not want to choose some, but rather because some are consistently refusing God's grace and love to shape and mold their hearts.

Do you realize just how much God loves you...? He created the universe with words, yet He took the time to mold, shape and create you...this has to make you wonder; who is this God that thought of me before the foundation of the earth and if He thought of me, that must mean that I am worth so much in His hands...?


2013 BREAKTHROUGH IS ON HIS WAY!

ARE YOU WHOLLY FOLLOWING THE LORD?


Note: Although we sometimes want the reward, God almost always asks what are you willing to sacrifice.
No journey ever starts at the finish line 


Me and my husband asked the Lord that He should use us like He used the disciples and what you would read below is only part of the journey we've been on.

2012 was difficult and although it was one of the most difficult years, it was also one of the most amazing because through all of the hardship and all the tears there was a new level of God's judgement revealed to me which opened my eyes to see a deeper level of God's love and grace for us.

Last year I came to realize that what I had though I NEEDED in the past was not at all what would sustain me for what is still to come...

(Background)

2008 me and my husband got married and at that time we had planned to move into our own home, but financially we were not able to do so and had to stay with my parents until end of June 2011, as you can imagine having our own place was something we had been long waiting for and 1 July 2011 we, by the grace and favor of God found a place. 1 July 2011 was the start of me and my husbands life on our own. In short, my husband told me that he is going to resign at his work in December 2011 and go into ministry...at that time we did not know where he would go but all we knew was that he had to resign. In the meantime we did not know where we would stay or what he would do. Soon after we had confirmation in our hearts, we were asked if we would be the mother and father of the gap year at our church and that my husband would then be one of the leaders. We said yes knowing that the church will not be able to give my husband a income but we will however have a house in which we can stay. We knew that we were not in this for the money so me and my husband was so grateful for the house, but although we had a place to stay it cost us a price and in the beginning it was hard but as the year went on so much happened and my love for God just grew even more than it had already been, suddenly we realized that what we had thought to be necessities in the past was things that we could survive without, cause we had a roof over our heads, we had food in the house (more than enough) and we could still get from A to B, what more does n person need??? Because we came to the point of being content and thank God for what He has done for us and for His provision we could (even though we had less than previous years) be a blessing to the people around us because our focus shifted.

In June 2012 I felt God pressing on my heart that I would have to resign. One day at work I felt God saying to me "Denise I want you to resign"...this was such a shock to me at that stage that I laughed out loud and said Lord, probably next year December because then what little debt we have will all be gone? On which I felt God replying "No, I want you to resign this year"...that shook me!...although I had known in the past that this was at some stage going to happen, it still shook me because now I wasn't nearly as eager as before to do it due to the fact that I have been made more aware of what it is to be dependent on only one income. This was by far the most difficult decision that had to be made...because now the stakes was so much higher! I spoke to my husband and told him what I felt God was saying and at that time my husband said that we should pray and ask God for very clear direction as this is not an easy decision and not to be made lightly. I went through all kinds of emotions because at first I was angry with God that He would ask this of me because I love Him and will do as He says but that does not mean it is easy and even more so, why did He not first speak to my husband? I felt like a heavy burden was put on my shoulders, but as the month of August went by I got a peace in my heart that surpassed my own understanding and I said to the Lord; "Lord, you know now that I will do what you have asked of me, but Your word says that I should honor my husband and therefore I trust that you will confirm that which you asked me to do by also speaking to my husband and giving him peace because there needs to be unity in this decision  and only when my husband comes to me saying that You spoke to him will I hand in my resignation. In the middle of September my husband came home from a Worship leader conference one night and told me that the Lord has spoken to him and I should hand in my resignation for end of October 2012. Even though we at that stage could not see or understand where the finances would come from in our hearts we had a peace that goes beyond all understanding and we were able by God's grace to obey Him and walk once again onto a small and narrow road which only He will be able to sustain us on. December came and we were notified that the gap year would not be going on in 2013, so we would unfortunately have to move...at that stage we did not know where we were going to stay but when God asked me to resign and I cried before Him, He also asked me the following: "Denise are you willing to humble yourself and do what I ask from you even if it meant you had to stay on the streets and I can use you there?", so I said yes Lord I am willing...but certainly not able in my own strength. By the end of December God gave us a place to stay but it was not at all what we wanted, but considering what God asked me this was a blessing! My parent in law said that we could stay with them without having to worry about food or electricity  which to us was a major blessing...yes like I said this is not ideally what we wanted because we had just moved into our own house for the first time a year and a half ago, but like I said Gods' Grace should be sufficient enough.

Even though we knew the verse which the Apostle Paul wrote in the bible 
2 Co 12:9  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 
2 Co 12:10  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. 
God is taking us on a journey that everyday makes us REALIZE the depth and truth of that verse.

2013 began and soon I realized that although I felt like the leader in middle school in 2012 by the start of this year I felt like I was now the beginner in high school...this year started off with so many challenges (mentally, spiritually and financially) and it is now only February...but I believe and know that it is all part of my roots being embedded even deeper in God, for it was in the dessert that the Israelites had a deeper more intense revelation of God which was to prepare them for what was to come.

The following is my reason for the above mentioned:

Beginning 2012 God gave me a vision of a tree planted next to a steam in the desert and this tree had no more leaves or fruit but all of the sudden there were a huge mass of water coming down the river which broke the wall of the river bank and the tree was swallowed in and carried away by the river...immediately when I had this vision I felt God saying the following "Denise, the tree next to the river is you and what you are going through is my desert place and yes even though you feel like you have no leaves and bear no fruit, know that your roots are always reaching out to a deeper thirst of my holy water...but know this: if My holy water were to come in its fullness now you will not be able to handle it for when it comes it comes with a great force and if you are not DEEPLY grounded in me you will not be able to handle My power for it will uproot you and carry you away".

Some of you reading this may relate to the fullest extend to what has been said above and you may feel like you are not going anywhere or God is nowhere to be found (or so it feels), but I want to encourage you as God encourages me...My child from the first day that you prayed I heard your prayer and I not only acted upon it, I hastily sent my angels forth with the answer to your prayer, but know this that many battles are being fought by My angels on the way to you, for every victory has a battle to be fought and although the prayer was for the victory the battle is for the inner man.

We sometimes cry out to God for something and God hears our call and responds, but we do not always get it right away for God knows that if He were to just give that which you have asked right away you will not be able to handle it or appreciate it for what it truly is.

Think of it this way, if you asked your father for something and he always just gave it without teaching you to be patient or learning you the skills to handle it, will you truly appreciate and use that which he gave you to its full potential? ... Like the Israelites God heard their prayer (not only did He hear their prayer but He was anxiously awaiting it, for He ordained it to be so...) and went to work on it long before they actually got their answer (breakthrough), and when the time came for the breakthrough that too lingered but even that was not enough to get the Isrealites faith in God to the point were it needed to be in order for them to withstand the testing desert, for a whole generation died in the desert and only their children along with two (Caleb and Joshua) of the previous generation went into the promised land for only they had the faith and the foundation that would be able to enter and maintain the promised land and when they did, because of all they went through in the dessert appreciated it so much more.


Num 32:11  Surely none of the men that came up out of Egypt, from twenty years old and upward, shall see the land which I sware unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob; because they have not wholly followed me: 
Num 32:12  Save Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenezite, and Joshua the son of Nun: for they have wholly followed the LORD. 

God is at work in your life and what my seem like a lingering process is so much needed for when a child is conceived it can not be born right away, it needs to go through a process of growth which prepares that child for the breakthrough of a new journey that will lie ahead.


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